Monday, November 7, 2011

God's Speaking

I have been discouraged by lack of healing progress. I've been working on resigning myself to the thought that the healing will be surgical in nature. It wasn't what I wanted. I'm just trying to submit to the Lord's plan and will. It's tough.
Last night, my husband went to the Alpha group he's been helping with at church. The topic for the night was God's ability to heal. They studied a lot of passages and decided to pray with my hubby for my healing--kind of like the story in the Bible where the centurion just tells Jesus to speak and his servant would be healed (Luke 7:1-10). My husband was encouraged, I could see it in his face and hear it in his voice when he came home. He prayed for me. He also reminded me that we can keep asking for healing. The Lord knows we will accept a "no" and still trust but there are many examples in the Bible of people continuing to pray for healing--even Jesus prayed twice to heal someone completely. That brought peace to me. I can keep asking and don't have to give up. Then, this morning, my daughter (who's shy about sharing her prayers) came to me and told me that she prayed for me last night. She said she prayed that God would heal me completely so that I would no longer have to have the colostomy. She was so joyful about it all. I'm blessed that there are those who hold me up and help me, "when you have done everything, to stand." My family and friends are God's gift to me to help me through. They're "holding up my arms" as I seek God in this battle. Hallelujah!

Friday, November 4, 2011

Long and Busy two Months

Wow! I haven't posted since mid-August. I was amazed at the amount of busy my life had once school started back up. I just didn't have the strength to keep up through making my hubby's lunch every day as he heads off to his new job (started just after my last post). My DD started back to her charter school but as a middle schooler so there's been adjustments to more homework and managing different teachers. It's been an emotional time for her. I have been homeschooling my son and so I've been busy with that. The first full week of school held meetings every night for different ministries at my church. I just made it to one. That's all I could do. Along with all of this, I've started tutoring three boys in writing--one on Weds. and another two every other Friday. It's fun but it's taken time to build up strength for that. I've had people coming to my house almost every day of the week for schooling or play. It's been energizing and draining. I led a devotional at a Ladies' Retreat a few weekends ago--my first time. It went well but again, was energizing and draining.
Through all this, though, I realized a couple of weeks ago that I was managing "normal" mom/wife life again. It's been 18 months since I've been able to do my job fully. Yeah! I still have painful days or low energy days but they're fewer and my family is coming to rely on me again. Funny thing, I've resisted being relied upon. I don't want to fully go back to doing everything. I don't think it's good for my kids to be served so fully. They've learned life skills--emptying the dishwasher, taking out the trash, doing the laundry, making their own lunches...These things will continue though they are resisting as they see me feel better. Tough--I still need their help and they need to learn how to take care of themselves when they're adults. This illness has been good for me and for them.
I've been crafting and tidying my craft stuff in my closet so I can be more efficient. Supplies have built up so I need to get going and get them used for gifts and stuff to sell. I've used up three spools of ribbon yarn making some neat scarves. One is sold already! I've also used up several skeins of a bulky yarn to make myself a neat vest. Now, I just need to buy some long sleeved t-shirts to wear under it. :) I have a tunic in the works and am going to use some big fluffy white yarn (I have two skeins of a boucle) to make a bear to donate to a local school club that is collecting them for a children's hospital. That will help make more room to close the bins on my yarn stash. LOL
Hubby and I have some health decisions to make. The surgeon is recommending excising all the damaged tissue and giving me a permanent colostomy. It would be nice to be free of pain but I really, really, really do NOT like this ugly bag of stool attached to my belly. This would be permanent and life long. My skin has rejected the current bag so I hate to think of having this for the rest of my life. We have time to research and pray and make a wise decision. So that's a good thing.
All this still reminds me that I need to trust in the Lord. Every day requires more trust. It's a tough lesson but it's also very freeing.
That's all my thoughts for now. I'm going to get some pictures of items posted later. It's time I get more serious about this blog.