Friday, July 22, 2011

It All Comes Down to Trust

Again I'm worrying. There are decisions to be made, is my son over his pneumonia, my friend's hubby is job hunting, what sorts of things can we do to enjoy time with my FIL, my health, meal planning, etc. A still and small voice whispers to me, "Do you trust me? Can you let go and let me work? Haven't I always worked everything out?"
Yes, Lord. You have. Forgive me again. The peace comes to guard my heart and my mind. My breathing slows and I relax. I'll keep praying but I don't have to pray with anxiety. I can pray with trust. 

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Camping and Energy

I'm relieved and content. My body is taking a long time to recover from this illness. I'm still healing and will be for some time. I can live with that now. My energy levels are so much better this past week. We went to our yearly campout with our friends. Last year, my body failed me on the last day and I was so sick afterward. This year, I was able to prepare for camp and be at camp and actually help my hubby with the kids and with everything. I have not crashed and still have enough energy to work on the laundry this evening. Last week I couldn't do everything I did this week and I know that things will just keep improving.
I know that I'm feeling better and stronger and have more reserves. I'm interested in sewing with my DD this week. I want to go pick berries. I want to get planning on new lessons and units for my son in home schooling. I'm excited to start piano lessons in a couple of weeks. I want to cook and back and get in and really clean and declutter my home. All these wants are new ones. Before, I was too overwhelmed and tired to even be interested in wanting any of these. Wow!
That said, I know that I only have a limited number of "spoons" in any given day. I will continue to pace myself and use them as needed so that I monitor my health and don't overdo. (I recently read a blog where a woman with a chronic illness likened energy reserves to holding a certain amount of spoons in your hands. The image has stuck with me).
Thanks, Lord, for healing.