tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4281470692251398122023-11-15T05:53:06.688-08:00Beneath the DogwoodDihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13423465917617320728noreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-428147069225139812.post-48369676089389077522017-04-10T22:21:00.003-07:002017-04-10T22:21:38.898-07:00Prayerful thought<div style="color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">"Like everything in life, if you have a good foundation, you can build a really tall building...or a really tall life." Andy Bassich 'Life Below Zero'</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Thank-you, Jesus, for being the cornerstone of my good foundation. I pray my life will indeed, be tall.</span></div>
Dihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13423465917617320728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-428147069225139812.post-15581563158293666962017-04-10T11:39:00.001-07:002017-04-10T11:39:12.078-07:00Becoming an introvert?<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">My mom posted a meme today about introverts uniting. The joke was something about them being uncomfortable and wanting to go home. I commented, "<span style="background-color: #b6d7a8; color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px;">I've never been one but, since being ill, I find it harder to concentrate in groups and I now treasure the quiet in my house. Before 2010, I used to try to flee it. Now, I don't want to leave it. It's just a lot of work and worry when I'm out and about because of the ostomy bag and short bowel syndrome. Life's so much easier just staying home alone. (When people are over, I worry about them feeling neglected when I have to leave the room so often). However, I still recharge by being with people so I'm still an extrovert. I get depressed if I have too much time alone. Kind of an odd place to be."</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #b6d7a8; color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I wonder if this is common with those dealing with such a severe form of a chronic illness. What do you think? What are your experiences? </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: #b6d7a8; color: #1d2129;"><span style="letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px;">I will admit that preparing for any trip away from home fills me with dread. There is so much to prepare. I always have to have a change of supplies and clothing. And, it's not fun changing my ostomy bag in a public restroom. I'm thankful that it doesn't take the hours it used to last year when I had the stoma AND a neighboring fistula opening that caused constant failures of both coverings. Maybe because what I deal with is so icky, the embarrassment makes it harder than another illness might be? I don't know. I just know that I still LOVE being with others and I treasure my time with them. A friend from church contacted me last week about going out to lunch with her and another of our friends. I looked forward to that for days. I zealously guard my Tuesday Morning craft time with the craft crew. These friends are not a stressor at all. They are my comfort and support crew. Most have some chronic illness--one even has a stoma--so they "get" me and there's no </span><span style="letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px;">embarrassment</span><span style="letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px;">. They have walked this whole journey with me. I only feel </span></span><span style="color: #1d2129;"><span style="letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px;"><span style="background-color: #b6d7a8;">badly</span> when I'm not able to focus for long times on their conversation. I think all the anesthesia has affected my ability to concentrate. They don't say a word, however, they love me as does my family and my church. I'm grateful for God surrounding me with such a wonderful group of friends and family so that I can get the extrovert time I need to recharge without all the stress. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px;">I know that introverts enjoy and need time with close friends and family, don't get me wrong. I just know that they recharge by being alone and they NEED that time as much as I NEED time with close friends and family to recharge. Yet, I do find myself being drained when I don't get enough time alone. So maybe I am changing. I've always thought people were always one or the other. However, it's not being true in my experience.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px;">(Sorry about the rambling post--just thinking something through).</span></span>Dihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13423465917617320728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-428147069225139812.post-6915214687624130402017-03-13T21:25:00.001-07:002017-03-13T21:25:47.213-07:00Intimacy and Illness<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I just found out that something I said to another lady dealing with long-term health problems made a big difference in her. Today, I received the following private message.</span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br />"You had mentioned how important it is to stay intimate with our spouse. To make love once a month. And how for some of us, the response would be "Once a month? How am I going to do that?" While for others it would be more along the lines of "Only once a month??? Aaaaaaaaaargh." You said something about our needing to remember our spouses and that we aren't the only ones suffering through these circumstances. It really made me stop, look, and listen. To realize that no matter how much I didn't feel like it physically (pain), it would mean the world to Dan for me to make that effort. To realize that I wasn't the only one who was having to cope with these circumstances. It isn't that I was completely unaware of that, but I was feeling so sick, and hurt so very much, I just wasn't sure how that would even be possible. But ALL things are possible with God, and He made the way. It even brought Him into that area of our lives in a way that I had never imagined. Deeper intimacy. Making love does just that - it creates and nurtures deeper love between husband and wife. It reminded me that making love is glue that holds us together. That keeps the enemy out."<br /><br />I cried when I read that. Something simple--a testimony of what God has taught me in my illness, has brought deeper love between this couple. Isn't God amazing?<br /><br />The funny thing is that I've been revisiting this issue in my own marriage. I'm feeling better and we're enjoying one another more. However, there was still one thing that prevented me from fully entering in--and even initiating oneness: I feel ugly--a stoma and it's appliance are not just unattractive, they're gross!<br /><br />However, God is good always and an answer was at hand!<br /><br />Because of the number of snow days and cancelled school in our area, our kids had to go to school on President's Day as a make-up day. My husband (Handy TechMan) had the day off from work! We had an entire day for just each other and we made the most of it. You see, with an ostomy, I don't feel like I look very sexy for him. I want to look good. I want to be beautifully desirable in his eyes. I have a band that covers the bag but it's just buff colored--serviceable but not very pretty. I've shared this feeling at different times. He determined that we were going to take care of that for me. On our day he took me to the mall and we visited almost all the stores that had lingerie. I wanted something lacy and form-fitting that would cover my midsection and be pretty while we enjoyed one another physically. It also had to allow access to the important "zones." It was tough to find something that worked because I also wanted to be classy. I tried lots of styles and options but finally found a lacy, lined, camisole that held the bag in while still skimming my midsection and providing the necessary easy access. ;) I looked pretty and feminine in it and HTM liked it, too. It wasn't cheap but it has been worth every penny!<br /><br />It's funny, but this small scrap of clothing freed me from embarrassment and (despite the extra layer of cloth between us) removed a barrier to being one with my husband. Now, I will even initiate rather than simply being will when he led.<br /><br />As we have become more regular in the physical aspect of our relationship, our emotional hurts and loneliness from my illness are being healed. We are becoming one in mind and spirit again--not caretaker and invalid.<br /><br />It's easy to let our illnesses take over our relationships. So, fight for them. Do what you can--even if it's a simple kiss on arrival and departure--that's all we had for a long time. Connect physically with your spouse. It's way too important. Because, like my friend said, "...making love is (the) glue that holds us together. That keeps the enemy out."</span>Dihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13423465917617320728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-428147069225139812.post-41974814273071306392017-01-30T14:45:00.000-08:002017-01-30T14:45:34.644-08:00God has been telling me to write about my last 6 years of health problems and the things I've learned. I have been procrastinating and simply making lists of topics to write about. My current goal is to post once a week. That's do-able and not so frightening to me. If you have followed my blog in the past, I'm sorry that I have not had the mental ability or energy to post. I'm hoping that now that I am stronger and in a healthy time, I can share and help others as they walk through their own trials. I'm praying that through my story, God will be honored and trusted.<br />
<br />Dihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13423465917617320728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-428147069225139812.post-77430240697873969322017-01-30T14:41:00.000-08:002017-01-30T14:41:45.904-08:00Grieving the Death of a Dream<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">This was written first on 1/19/17.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I was led to reply on FaceBook to a friend's post about the destruction of her life as she knew it—the details aren't mine to share. However, I was able to speak some hard-won hope to her grief.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">"Honey--you're grieving! And it's more than grieving the losses you've suffered--it's also grieving the dreams and that's so much more difficult to come to terms with. I know. I deal with that with my illness--I can't go on the church mission trip to help build homes in Mexico and stuff. I always wanted to be able to do that. As the time grows closer, it will be harder! I grieve the what might have beens for my my learning disabled son--probably a traumatic brain injury from birth or an allergic reaction--or both. He's brilliant but many can't see because of the ways he's also broken. I understand this kind of grief and at these times, existence is good enough. Love you and praying that at some point, the pain will lessen and the grief will have less freshness and power over you and that the times these aren't in the front of your brain will grow longer. Then, you will do more than exist--you will live. You are a very strong woman but you have been shaken to your core. Everything you're going through is normal. I stand on the other side of many of these times to tell you that it does get easier and it's even possible to be thankful for them. I know that is not believable now. So, you need to trust those of us who have walked our trials to the gratefulness along with the grief. I have had to do that and now it's my turn to extend the hand of loving help to another. Rest well and keep existing--that's enough."</span><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">I should have added, "for now."</span></div>
Dihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13423465917617320728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-428147069225139812.post-75003650588800925422015-05-25T21:13:00.000-07:002015-05-25T21:13:40.137-07:00I'm Back from HiatusWell, I have been having quite a time and blogging was too hard. I spent 6 months in the hospital in 2013 and then kept going back off and on in 2014 for a surgery to correct the fistula that had caused the 2013 ruckus and for hydration issues in the fall. So far, this year, I have had another fistula and am back on the TPN (total parenteral nutrition) every night. It's slowly closing (hopefully) and I am hoping that it won't require any surgery to fix. Still, I have plenty of energy and have been getting back to where I was before 2010, in all honesty. We live a new normal and this blog is transforming to a place where I can candidly share about life with CROHN'S Disease (all caps because it has affected every aspect of our lives).<br />
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So, stay tuned and I will be writing here more regularly. My prayer is that you, my readers, will be encouraged and blessed in your daily lives.<br />
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DiDihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13423465917617320728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-428147069225139812.post-33556272966224632852013-01-16T21:53:00.004-08:002013-01-16T21:54:36.425-08:00A New Chapter: Accountability Captain?<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I'm supposed to be an accountability captain? If only people knew how my good intentions so often end in inaction. I believe in this concept, though. Hello Mornings is a great idea--a great way to encourage women to build better habits in Bible Study, Exercise and Day Planning. I need this. I need to be better at mornings. Mornings are my nemesis. It's so hard to get going. Since I was so ill, my morning routines have become noon routines. I need a new routine, I think. The whole "get up, shower, dressed, make-up, etc routine won't work with my health constraints. So, I need a different thing. Something more gentle. However, time in the Word needs to be part of it. My hope is that I can figure out how to get it all done in a more gentle way.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">We'll be studying the Book of Job. The theme is "Abounding Hope." Job and his message of hope in spite of circumstances, has been a lifeline for my husband and I over the last three years. When I first had a little infection, we never knew it would mean an entire life change and breakdown in my health and almost uncontrollable recurrence of my Crohn's Disease. Despite this, we've seen God work in our lives and in the lives of those around us. He's used this to encourage others in prayer and faith and determination. So, I have hope in our trial. Hope that God will continue to work His will.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I'm excited to see the names of the ladies who have signed up with us. We are all ages and in many different stages in life. This will bring a richness and depth to our group. Yeah!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">While I start this new chapter, I'm also starting to meet with two other ladies for a Bible study. One lady has never been in a Bible study before. After today's meeting, she's encouraged. I am, too. I can see God moving me into a new area: discipleship. He's just naturally placed different opportunities in my path to meet with women to encourage them to grow in knowledge and faith through studying the Bible. Before my illness, I was too busy. I was too busy to be home enough to have women over for Bible study....or to meet online with women for Bible study...or to even spend time on my own here at home studying the Bible. Now, I'm home and I'm freed to do these things. I'm glad.</span>Dihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13423465917617320728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-428147069225139812.post-64381328591441870292013-01-08T22:27:00.001-08:002013-01-08T22:27:35.848-08:00Sorry, Little Blog<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I didn't realize until today that I haven't posted since MARCH! Yikes. I'm so sorry little blog. So much has happened and I just got sidetracked by life. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Starting with Spring Break, I was busy. My hubby wants to make sure we use our RV so he had scheduled many camping trips throughout the spring and summer. We even got to go to the Oregon Coast for our anniversary in June--just the two of us in the RV! It was wonderful. I felt well enough this year to spend a week camping with the kids and friends at our favorite park: Metzler County Park. That was a huge improvement from the previous year when just a couple of nights wiped me out. We traveled to Yellowstone and met my parents. We spent several days exploring the park and visiting the Grand Tetons. I got to take my kids to Craters of the Moon National Park (a favorite spot when I was a kid). We even camped "on the moon." That place is incredible and it's a surreal environment to be camping amongst the slag heaps of lava. It reminded me of Frodo and Sam's time approaching the mountain in "The Return of the King" by Tolkien. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Over Labor Day weekend, we camped with my hubby's brother and his family. We spent all of one day visiting a Civil War reenactment. I'd love to be a part of something like that. On our last camping trip (in September), we even tried Paddleboarding for the first time. The fact that I could do that was, I felt, a miracle. I'm not healed but at least I'm at a place where I can have adventures and enjoy life with my family as a mom and wife. I'm grateful.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I started a new adventure with my son this fall. We enrolled him in an online charter school. There has been a learning curve for both he and I as we learned how to do this kind of homeschooling. I've seen a lot of growth on his part and it's helped me to preserve my energy for other things--rather than spending all my time planning and researching curriculum and such. I get to actually just teach and guide his learning and that's what was needed for us all.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">We hosted Christmas for hubby's family this year and it was fun. I had fun planning and making a "tapas" Christmas Eve meal so the kids could experience something that they've been learning about in their language classes. Everyone was tentative but then loved the dishes and we sat around the table snacking and chatting for a long time. Maybe we have a new tradition?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Doctors are pleased with my progress so far. They think that I'm in a holding pattern but aren't going to rush into surgery to remove the wounded area. If I'm living life and maintaining general good health, they're pleased. If they leave the rectum alone, it might heal--probably not, but it might. If they remove it, I could suffer some bad side effects and it also closes the door if any new treatments come up. So, status quo for now and I'll just keep guard over my health and energy and enjoy my family and friends. God is with me and he has blessed me with an amazing life. I'm good.</span>Dihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13423465917617320728noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-428147069225139812.post-10848026201669403882012-03-12T10:24:00.000-07:002012-03-12T10:24:35.247-07:00Long Time, No Post<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I've been focusing elsewhere and have let my blog be for a bit. I'm finally ready to get back to it. I finally feel I have something to say. I did set a small resolution. I want to develop a habit of thankfulness. I'm trying to capture those gifts and blessings that happen each day and number them. I've been influenced by Ann Voskamp's Book "One Thousand Gifts." My goal is 10 a day. What I'm finding is that as I write them down, I find more and more and more things I'm thankful for. God is indeed good all the time.</span>Dihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13423465917617320728noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-428147069225139812.post-3924475664747680312012-03-12T10:21:00.000-07:002012-03-12T10:21:35.375-07:00Sunday's Gifts<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Today's Gifts: 21) Waking up when my body was ready and not feeling tired despite the "spring forward;" 22) Hubby's comforting, loving and protective arm around me; 23) The sound of hubby's voice singing strong and sure in worship to God; 24) My son's joyous smile and happy eyes when I teased him; 25) The camaraderie of combing and braiding my daughter's hair while she chatted and shared; 26) A fr</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">iend's daughter, enduring a tough time, enjoyed going to youth group with my daughter; 27) unexpected sunlight bravely shining through the clouds after church; 28) watching my son and two other boys bonding over Angry Birds and the boys' regret at having to leave so soon; 29) the love I see shared amongst my church family; 30) finishing one side of the new (and challenging) purse design and liking it. 31) The fact that as I write so many things come to mind that I wouldn't be able to get to sleep if I wrote them all. God's gifts to me every day are innumerable.</span></span></span></span>Dihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13423465917617320728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-428147069225139812.post-30149276046861466292012-03-12T10:20:00.000-07:002012-03-12T10:20:40.407-07:00Saturday's Blessings<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Today's gifts: 11. Lilting, bouncy Irish music, 12. Hubby's hand finding mine. 13. Luxurious, guilty pleasure of sleeping in, 14. My son cuddling into me at the planting strawberries activity and the concert, 15. The sweet crunch of ice cream cones, 16. Seeing Leah TenKate and family at Al's. 17. The living red-gold of my daughter's hair, 18. The rainy drive home in the dark sparking memories of our courtship, 19. Hubby running my errands, 20. The calming, comfy sound of rain on the roof as I relax in my warm bed.</span></span></span>Dihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13423465917617320728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-428147069225139812.post-47820216199726953762012-03-12T10:19:00.000-07:002012-03-12T10:19:40.181-07:00Today's Blessings (Friday)<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Today's Joy Gifts:1. A good-morning "I love You" and "Thank-you" from my beloved, 2. a daughter's joyful face for drawing success, 3. rounding a corner to see my son encased in my pillowcase w/pillow and 4. his giggle as I laughed, 5. a yummy bite of pizza, 6. talking with my far away friend, 7. the joy and trepidation and teasing of my friend whose oldest turns 13 tomorrow, 8. the soft, warm, fluffy and purring body warming my feet, 9. laughter and joy as I celebrate being part of the Wetherbee's through the FB posts that keep us all in touch, 10. the wonderful bits of wisdom that God occasionally gives me--the "Wow! Did I say that?" moment today. Blessings!</span></span></span>Dihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13423465917617320728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-428147069225139812.post-18096183806091168302012-01-01T19:32:00.000-08:002012-01-01T19:32:16.679-08:00Setting Goals<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I decided not to make resolutions this year. It seems like a way to set myself up for failure to make all sorts of grand decisions about the coming year and what I will do to change myself. I think it's good to try to better myself. Just not all at once with too many changes. I work better at making new habits--one at a time. I haven't decided what new habit I want to add to my day. I'm praying for guidance and wisdom. The Lord leads me in the things I need to do so I will trust He will guide me now. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">A devotional blog I read was talking about 5 steps to making resolutions. I agree with everything she said. The one that really stuck out to me was to "Set Time." Schedule the new habit. Give it a specific time and place. The successful habits I've developed all had set times. I never realized it until today. Set Time for the changes I want to make. Set Time to get together with people. Set Time to pray and read the Bible and hear from the Lord. Set Time for the Holy Spirit to lead me. Hmmmm. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Maybe that's it.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Maybe my goal is learning to Set Time for the things that are important but get forgotten because I don't guard the time for them. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">My Tuesday morning craft time with friends? I fiercely guard that time. It's set. It happens. It's habit. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Devotional time--not so set. Date time with my husband--not so set. Time with my daughter--not so set. This needs to change.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Holy Spirit, guide me as I work on setting time in my life for the relationships I treasure.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I guess I have a resolution after all! "Set Time."</span>Dihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13423465917617320728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-428147069225139812.post-29295597789398197612011-12-29T15:53:00.000-08:002011-12-29T15:53:04.242-08:00The New YearHere comes a New Year. 2012. I wonder at the possibilities. What will it hold? I have hope for new experiences and healing. I don't know if it will be, but I can hope.<br />
I've been working today on tidying up from Christmas. It feels good to accomplish stuff and see my clean surfaces emerging from the pretty decorations.<br />
I started my new medication yesterday. It did cause an upset stomach and made me tired yesterday and today. It wasn't unbearable and for that, I'm happy. We'll see what happens next Weds.<br />
I hope that all those who read this will be blessed with joy and hope as we look into this next year. I know that God will be at work and we will all learn and grow through whatever He sends our way.<br />
Blessings,<br />
diDihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13423465917617320728noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-428147069225139812.post-73096539207266786242011-12-25T13:30:00.000-08:002011-12-25T13:30:11.740-08:00Christmas!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Wow! Christmas! I feel it. I feel it in my heart--the hope, the peace, the joy and the Love of Christ. I finished wrapping a couple of gifts yesterday and enjoyed family time and worshipped with my church. I wasn't sure that Christmas would feel like Christmas. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I realized something...</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Maybe I'm so used to the over-the-top,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">bake-a-million-things,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">buy-everyone-a-lot-of-gifts-to-make-sure-they-all-have-what-they-want,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">hand-make-several-thoughtful-gifts,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">wrap-a-ton-of-gifts-madly-at-the-last-minute,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">go-to-3-different-events-every-day,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">kind of Advent;</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I can't feel Christmas excitement without it?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">We didn't do that this year.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">We simplified. My energy isn't up to more but our attitudes have changed, too.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">We want Christmas to be more about Christ and less about us.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">It's different. It takes some getting used to.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Today, I like it...</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Today, we're relaxing, enjoying one another, really enjoying our new gifts.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">My Dd loved her bike. Apparently, we've started a new tradition in our family. She's in 6th grade. I got my "big kid" 10 speed my 6th grade year. Hubby did, too. She was thrilled for the bike but it means even more now that she knows her dad and I had the same rite of passage. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">My SIL got my son a slingshot. I cringed. My brother got in BIG trouble with his when we were younger. She didn't know the story but it seems as if life is coming another big circle. Little son uses his to launch pompom angry birds at the stuffed pig she included with the gift. (Better than rocks at the mailbox. Right, D.R.)?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Full circle: It's my little son reminds us it's time to light the "big candle in the middle." The Christ candle, lit after hope, peace, joy and love. Thankfully, those things can burn bright in our hearts even though the candles are melted down to almost nothing.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Merry Christmas!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The waiting is over...</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Now...</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">It's time to serve.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">And...</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">as always...</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">It's time....</span><br />
To KNIT!Dihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13423465917617320728noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-428147069225139812.post-69761048335068233992011-12-20T21:25:00.000-08:002011-12-20T21:25:59.450-08:00I never learn...<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Discouragement, no, despair sits heavy on my heart tonight. I'm trying to create joy in Advent. In celebrating the coming of Emanuel. It's not there. My heart is heavy, sad, and (time to admit it), despairing.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Into the despair comes these words:</span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"Just when Mary’s astonishment over meeting Gabriel calmed down, her heart took another cataclysmic leap. Pregnant?! If Gabriel had the message right, then God’s master plan for Mary was totally out of sync with what she had imagined. The good news was that God’s promise to put an heir on the throne of David would be fulfilled through Mary’s son. The bad news for Mary was that she was going to have to explain this pregnancy to her family. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">It was no easy road, but God faithfully guided Mary every step of the way; her faith never wavered. If Mary could trust God’s plans, then so can we. Maybe you know what it’s like to feel that a situation is the opposite of what you hoped for, but perhaps is all part of a bigger plan. It’s okay to doubt or be afraid or even a bit angry in that circumstance. Ultimately God asks us to let go of our own agendas and trust that the Master plan is ultimately in our best interests. Trust. That’s all God asks of you."(Tammy Wiens d365.org)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">My previous post was celebrating the comfort of knowing that God is with me. Today, He feels far away.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I feel guilty. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">My trust is wavering and anger and fear have reigned and caused doubt and despair. My life is not at all what I want it to be and I'm having a hard time trusting that all this pain is good for those who live with me and are getting less of the wife and mother that they need.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Honestly, i</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">t</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> ISN'T</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> good. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">This is a world of sin and bad things happen because of the broken world. God says He will work these bad things for the good of those who love Him. So, I have to trust He will. After all, He's fulfilled so many promises and worked so many miracles in my life. The bad has always been turned to good. I know He'll do it again.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Right now, though, my prayer is less of Mary's "May it be to me as you have said" and more of Jesus', "Father, let this cup pass from me..."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Help me, Lord, as I struggle with the "not my will, but thine be done" response. Please bring me to the point where I can wholeheartedly have Mary's attitude and trust even with the consequences of Your holy plan.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Advent is not just a time of joy. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">It's a time of pain. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<br />
<ul><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The pain of those who don't believe and gossip and turn away from an unwed pregnant teenager. </span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The pain of family not giving a room to this young woman and her husband.</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The pain of a husband's helplessness in finding a clean and healthy place for his young wife to give birth.</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The pain of labor and the birth of a child.</span></li>
</ul><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">It's a place of fear.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<br />
<ul><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The fear of "What will people say?" </span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The fear of a beloved being killed if things are made public.</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The fear of traveling so far away from home.</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The fear of not finding a place to stay.</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The fear of angels appearing.</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The fear of having your baby boy killed by a jealous king.</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The fear of running away to a foreign land to save your baby.</span></li>
</ul><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">In my season of waiting, I understand the story more deeply than ever before. This season of waiting for Christ is filled with pain and with fear. That's just an integral part of it. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The impossible irony is the pain and fear are needed for there to be trust. Trust that what we see and what we experience is all part of a greater and bigger and impossibly miraculous plan.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">And Advent? It's all about the trust. </span><br />
<div><br />
</div>Dihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13423465917617320728noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-428147069225139812.post-73885580845885962852011-12-01T18:33:00.000-08:002011-12-01T18:33:46.026-08:00Advent Waiting<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I am just so blessed when God talks to me. I've been discouraged. Sunday, at church, I kept crying. Everything just spoke to me of His love and care of me. I was comforted. The message focused on the Hope of Christmas--Immanuel "God with us." I needed that. God is WITH me! Do you get it? When I'm frustrated with the stupid little annoying things my body is doing while I'm trying to recover--the canker sores, the skin irritations, the pain of the area that just won't heal--the Immense, Unfathomable Creator of EVERYTHING is WITH me. He's here. He knows. He understands. He helps. He does it all because He Loves Me! Amazing. Comforting. Humbling.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Then, a friend posts a link to an advent devotional. d365.org. I followed the devotions at Lent this year and was blessed. Now, I'm reading the Advent ones. The message on Monday hit me like a ton of bricks. This God who loves me has good things for me. I need to face each day with expectant waiting. The sort of expectant and joyful waiting I felt as a child as Christmas approached. This is what they said,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Let us begin Advent, waiting.</span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Not the “going back to sleep” kind of waiting.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Not the impatient pacing, or the wasted anxiety of waiting.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Not even the passive-aggressive waiting that says, “Really? We’ll see.”</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Let us begin Advent, waiting.<br />
Getting up and joining the adventure,<br />
Even when we don’t know where it will take us.<br />
Shifting the impatient waiting to expectant living.<br />
Boldly claiming the Good News that we know will come.<br />
Waiting with joy as we reach out with the grace of God that is so much more than amazing.<br />
<br />
Let us begin Advent."</span></span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">In a facebook post, I said this in response, "</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I love this idea of waiting--expectant and joyful. I'm really struck by the phrase, "Really? We'll see." That's the waiting I've felt lately over my possible healing. Praying that I can turn my focus to waiting for Jesus to just teach and touch me however he wants each and every day--not waiting for someday but ready for now."</span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I found another devotional blog. "A Holy Experience." She's focusing on waiting, too. The Lord making His message known to me. "Wait. Wait for me. Wait joyfully, expectantly, happily." </span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"How, Lord?" is my question. </span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Today, a start of the answer. Jesus came as a baby--a small thing in a big world. Yet this small miracle changed history, changes lives still. </span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So, I'll look for the small miracles God works every day. I'll wait for them and look for them knowing that "Emmanuel" will perform them. And, I'll do my best to do the small kindnesses for those around me. I know it will require sacrifice and I may not always remember I'm performing miracles for Him but I'm wanting to try. Help me, Lord. </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My facebook post and comments today.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"Advent is an active waiting. And Christmas comes to those who wait for the whisper, who look for the little, who seek the small, scandalous signs of the every-where presence of God.<br />
The only way to see the Savior this Advent is to see the small, and wise men find ways to slow the season down."<br />
<br />
"All Advent, this pouring out in small acts of kindness: a hot cup of coffee, a sticky note on a mirror, a treat left on a seat. And for every small act, this planting of one small seed.<br />
A seed that sprouts, a shoot out of the black earth, a small act of kindness that grows bold love straight up into the dark."<br />
By Ana Voskamp</span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">More info on waiting--active waiting. This goes along with the other message I received on "Expectant living." I've taken my focus off of the small seeds and acts of God's presence to ask for the "big" miracle. I can ask for that but need t</span></span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">o remember to focus on Him--the enormous power packaged in a small baby. I must wait expectantly looking for the small miracles in the day and give thanks. Then, I need to be His love to others, joyfully performing small acts--little miracles in other's lives.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Ana likens Jesus to a seed and calls Him, "impossible power contained in the small." I love that image. We've been watching NOVA about quantum physics and theoretical science--impossible science in many ways. My God is even MORE unimaginable, unfathomable and impossible that that! Whew! I feel a seed of expectation starting to burst from it's seed coat in the still darkness of my discouragement.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Thank-you, Lord, for speaking and answering my prayer.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>Dihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13423465917617320728noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-428147069225139812.post-14540241718594726482011-11-07T10:07:00.000-08:002011-11-07T10:07:27.427-08:00God's Speaking<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I have been discouraged by lack of healing progress. I've been working on resigning myself to the thought that the healing will be surgical in nature. It wasn't what I wanted. I'm just trying to submit to the Lord's plan and will. It's tough.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Last night, my husband went to the Alpha group he's been helping with at church. The topic for the night was God's ability to heal. They studied a lot of passages and decided to pray with my hubby for my healing--kind of like the story in the Bible where the centurion just tells Jesus to speak and his servant would be healed (Luke 7:1-10). My husband was encouraged, I could see it in his face and hear it in his voice when he came home. He prayed for me. He also reminded me that we can keep asking for healing. The Lord knows we will accept a "no" and still trust but there are many examples in the Bible of people continuing to pray for healing--even Jesus prayed twice to heal someone completely. That brought peace to me. I can keep asking and don't have to give up. Then, this morning, my daughter (who's shy about sharing her prayers) came to me and told me that she prayed for me last night. She said she prayed that God would heal me completely so that I would no longer have to have the colostomy. She was so joyful about it all. I'm blessed that there are those who hold me up and help me, "when you have done everything, to stand." My family and friends are God's gift to me to help me through. They're "holding up my arms" as I seek God in this battle. Hallelujah!</span>Dihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13423465917617320728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-428147069225139812.post-76530045782064439102011-11-04T10:37:00.000-07:002011-11-04T10:45:13.096-07:00Long and Busy two Months<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Wow! I haven't posted since mid-August. I was amazed at the amount of busy my life had once school started back up. I just didn't have the strength to keep up through making my hubby's lunch every day as he heads off to his new job (started just after my last post). My DD started back to her charter school but as a middle schooler so there's been adjustments to more homework and managing different teachers. It's been an emotional time for her. I have been homeschooling my son and so I've been busy with that. The first full week of school held meetings every night for different ministries at my church. I just made it to one. That's all I could do. Along with all of this, I've started tutoring three boys in writing--one on Weds. and another two every other Friday. It's fun but it's taken time to build up strength for that. I've had people coming to my house almost every day of the week for schooling or play. It's been energizing and draining. I led a devotional at a Ladies' Retreat a few weekends ago--my first time. It went well but again, was energizing and draining.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Through all this, though, I realized a couple of weeks ago that I was managing "normal" mom/wife life again. It's been 18 months since I've been able to do my job fully. Yeah! I still have painful days or low energy days but they're fewer and my family is coming to rely on me again. Funny thing, I've resisted being relied upon. I don't want to fully go back to doing everything. I don't think it's good for my kids to be served so fully. They've learned life skills--emptying the dishwasher, taking out the trash, doing the laundry, making their own lunches...These things will continue though they are resisting as they see me feel better. Tough--I still need their help and they need to learn how to take care of themselves when they're adults. This illness has been good for me and for them.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I've been crafting and tidying my craft stuff in my closet so I can be more efficient. Supplies have built up so I need to get going and get them used for gifts and stuff to sell. I've used up three spools of ribbon yarn making some neat scarves. One is sold already! I've also used up several skeins of a bulky yarn to make myself a neat vest. Now, I just need to buy some long sleeved t-shirts to wear under it. :) I have a tunic in the works and am going to use some big fluffy white yarn (I have two skeins of a boucle) to make a bear to donate to a local school club that is collecting them for a children's hospital. That will help make more room to close the bins on my yarn stash. LOL</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Hubby and I have some health decisions to make. The surgeon is recommending excising all the damaged tissue and giving me a permanent colostomy. It would be nice to be free of pain but I really, really, really do NOT like this ugly bag of stool attached to my belly. This would be permanent and life long. My skin has rejected the current bag so I hate to think of having this for the rest of my life. We have time to research and pray and make a wise decision. So that's a good thing.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">All this still reminds me that I need to trust in the Lord. Every day requires more trust. It's a tough lesson but it's also very freeing.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">That's all my thoughts for now. I'm going to get some pictures of items posted later. It's time I get more serious about this blog.</span>Dihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13423465917617320728noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-428147069225139812.post-32468738338736346792011-08-18T20:19:00.000-07:002011-08-18T20:19:04.067-07:00Good Days<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I've been getting stuff done lately. I've had good days with energy. I'm so glad. I'm being careful, too. I spent a few hours with some other moms at a park yesterday and my kids had fun. Today, I went to my local homeschool store and picked up some of my son's curriculum. Then, we had piano lessons and I picked up a gift bag I won from a local garden store. This afternoon, the kids played and I worked on more yearly lesson plans for homeschooling. Hubby came home early so we got to spend some time together before he went to help some friends with a video shoot. The weather is gorgeous, I have great friends and family and I know I'm finally getting better right now. God is good and I'm trusting for each day's measure of peace and energy.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">How are you? </span>Dihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13423465917617320728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-428147069225139812.post-69782552421272582712011-08-15T16:44:00.000-07:002011-08-15T16:44:16.950-07:00Ahhhh! There's No Place Like Home!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The only thing better than a wonderful vacation is being back home, sleeping in my own bed, and back to my regular schedule. My great husband had last week off of work. We spontaneously decided to head out and visit a couple of National Monuments a few hours away. It was lovely. The Lava Beds were incredible and I felt honored to see some petroglyphs in a former lava tube. The kids enjoyed becoming Junior Rangers as they learned about the area. It was a long, hot and exhausting day that we all enjoyed. The next day was more low key as we played putt-putt golf and visited a museum. Both nights the kids completely enjoyed the pool and I was excited to see how well my son is doing in learning to swim. My health keeps me out of the pool for now so I was a bit envious of their fun.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">On our way home, we visited Crater Lake and couldn't have had a better day. It was completely clear and sunny and every stop held God-given views of His creation. I'm awed. After we were home, we enjoyed a trip to the fair and an overnight camp out a block away (in our church's back yard) LOL!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">My body is exhausted. I had to rest a couple of different days but I'm so glad that the trip and the walking and all didn't make me relapse as it has in the past. I'm definitely getting better and stronger. YEAH!!! </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Today, hubby's back to work. While I miss him and am looking forward to him being home, it's been nice to rest with the kids, doing a few chores, practicing my piano lesson, reading a book and resting. The rest of the week holds our regular events--craft morning with friends, a park playdate, some errands, etc. I look forward to it. Vacation was good and home is good, too.</span>Dihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13423465917617320728noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-428147069225139812.post-15594510381271421252011-08-06T16:06:00.000-07:002011-08-06T16:06:33.292-07:00Healing/Trust update<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">For those following my illness adventures, I am steadily gaining in energy and am healing. The hernia the doctor found and attempted to repair has reared its ugly head and I'm having to be careful with lifting and such. I met with the surgeon and he recommended wearing some support for the stoma to close the gap in the muscles. I found a temporary fix until I can meet with a nurse for a more formal one. It is helping and I'm in less pain by the end of the day. I was worried I might have to go in for more surgery but the doctor wants to wait. We're hoping it will be solved by the abscess cavity healing and closing up so that the stoma can be reversed. The last thing I need is extra surgery so hopefully we can roll it all together into one. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">In a past post on trust I commented on hubby's job search. He had been contacted by a few companies to apply for various positions. He did and interviewed. He has completed the interviewing process and has a new job. It took a lot of prayer and discussion on whether he should stay in his current position or move to the new one. The day after we decided to move on, his current company announced changes that would have made his job more difficult and set him up for failure. God was definitely working and I'm so grateful for the peace the Holy Spirit brought to help me through the uncertainty.</span>Dihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13423465917617320728noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-428147069225139812.post-19127223125783674992011-08-06T15:58:00.000-07:002011-08-06T15:58:43.562-07:00Summer!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Summer is finally here. For this Pacific NW gal, that means mostly sunny days with highs in the 70's. For those that don't know me, I despise being hot. I get overheated easily--comes from my grandma's genetics. So, this below 90 degree summer is perfect in my mind. I go outside in the evenings and enjoy the wonderfully soothing shade under my huge dogwood tree. Resting, reading, healing...<sigh of complete contentment></span>Dihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13423465917617320728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-428147069225139812.post-34106357204740419762011-07-22T08:19:00.000-07:002011-07-22T08:19:01.087-07:00It All Comes Down to Trust<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Again I'm worrying. There are decisions to be made, is my son over his pneumonia, my friend's hubby is job hunting, what sorts of things can we do to enjoy time with my FIL, my health, meal planning, etc. A still and small voice whispers to me, "Do you trust me? Can you let go and let me work? Haven't I always worked everything out?"</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Yes, Lord. You have. Forgive me again. The peace comes to guard my heart and my mind. My breathing slows and I relax. I'll keep praying but I don't have to pray with anxiety. I can pray with trust. </span>Dihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13423465917617320728noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-428147069225139812.post-1565116380638143342011-07-17T18:17:00.000-07:002011-07-17T18:18:27.973-07:00Camping and Energy<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I'm relieved and content. My body is taking a long time to recover from this illness. I'm still healing and will be for some time. I can live with that now. My energy levels are so much better this past week. We went to our yearly campout with our friends. Last year, my body failed me on the last day and I was so sick afterward. This year, I was able to prepare for camp and be at camp and actually help my hubby with the kids and with everything. I have not crashed and still have enough energy to work on the laundry this evening. Last week I couldn't do everything I did this week and I know that things will just keep improving.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I know that I'm feeling better and stronger and have more reserves. I'm interested in sewing with my DD this week. I want to go pick berries. I want to get planning on new lessons and units for my son in home schooling. I'm excited to start piano lessons in a couple of weeks. I want to cook and back and get in and really clean and declutter my home. All these wants are new ones. Before, I was too overwhelmed and tired to even be interested in wanting any of these. Wow!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">That said, I know that I only have a limited number of "spoons" in any given day. I will continue to pace myself and use them as needed so that I monitor my health and don't overdo. (I recently read a blog where a woman with a chronic illness likened energy reserves to holding a certain amount of spoons in your hands. The image has stuck with me).</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Thanks, Lord, for healing.</span>Dihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13423465917617320728noreply@blogger.com0